I do ask people this question, and I wonder why it matters to me. When I ask white people where they are from, I am just wondering. Maybe they have said something that makes me want to connect with them if I think they are from the Midwest. If I ask a person of color this question I am really wondering what blood makeup they are. Why? Because in my mind, it’s hard for me to get past my lack of ability to put them in a box. That in and of itself is interesting because if they say they are from San Salvador, for example, it might be satisfying to know that, but I don’t know s*** about San Salvador, so I am not any closer to knowing the person than I was before. In the past year or so I have really tried to stop asking, but the urge is still there. The other day, I asked the guy who does cabinet work for us where he was from. I could not help myself. His English is good, but you can tell he is not a native English speaker. He looks like he could be Native American, Spanish, Mexican, or Indian. Drove me crazy. I invited him to share a meal with me and asked him lots of questions, all of which were illuminating. Then I asked, “Where are you from,” like I was getting revenge for something. He said, “San Salvador.” My response: “humph.”
If someone has an accent it’s more intriguing to me. I like to hear where they’re from. It often leads to interesting stories about their lives. Then there’s the case of an older gentleman I’d work close to on certain days. I noticed he had an accent but I couldn’t place it. Finally, I asked him. He says, Venezuela, but I’ve been here since I’m 5 years old. Hell, I’m American. I love this Country. We laughed. I felt we were on a friendship basis since then, or at least closer.